I just can't move past it. My son developed epilepsy at 6 months, a few mild spasms. We took him straight to the doctor, ran tests, didn't find anything unusual. The seizures became more frequent but his neurologist said treatment would do more harm than the seizures so we held off treatment for 6 months. At that point the fits were much worse. I trusted the neurologist but now I've done even more research I believe my son's development has been affected by our decision not to treat immediately. It could affect him for the rest of his life. He's 3 now. How do I get over the incredible guilt that maybe he could have had a normal life but now I've taken it away? I don't know what to do. In some ways he is quite normal, his IQ is OK but he has communication problems, and is unco-ordinated. I love him more than anything - how could I have not got a second opinion?? I was so scared what treatment would do...I didn't think of what NOT treating could do.

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you have no idea whether the treatment would have even worked. in fact, it could have made him worse. don't beat yourself up over this. you did what was right for you & your son at the time. in my life, what I thought I was looking back at as a bad decision turned out to be the right one even farther down the road. just believe in yourself at the mom. if you had really had a gut feeling at the time that the treatment would be better, you would have gone with that. but you didn't. so it must not have been the thing to do. the fact that you are feeling guilty lets us know you are the best mother this little boy could ever have. and God picked you for him. You must be a pretty special lady.
check with your local school board and find out about getting him into an early intervention program. that's where I started with my son who's attending speech therapy now at only 17mos (he started at like 14mos).
Good Luck!
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