What Is a Way to Relieve Asthma (Weezing) Without an Inhaler?

If I don't have an inhaler handy (and I have severe asthma) I have been stuck in this position before and I found the instant solution. Go to your nearest coffee shop and order a triple shot of espresso. Don't add anything at all – yuck, I know. You take the tiny cup when it's cool enough to handle and take a big enough sip to hold for about 30 seconds or more under your tounge. You keep doing that till it's gone. It usually clears the asthma symptoms within 5 minutes of starting. The only other thing you must do is remove yourself from any irritant that caused the symptoms – ie. a large crowd of smokers, large dusty areas, a shady area that may contain mold, and for me it was an airport (allergic to rubber and off gassing). I am glad to pass this on to you for help.

I tried adding just a little cream and it failed, just a little sugar will fail it, it must be taken sub lingually black as it came out of the espresso maker.
It's the caffeine that dilates your lungs, and the old theophillin pills were known to be an equivalent to 24 cups of coffee worth of stimulant similar to caffeine.